outofatlantis | TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT -> ATLANTIS EDITION

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TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT -> ATLANTIS EDITION

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How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time

You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night

Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were

So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.

Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.

LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?

Edited 2013-08-29 01:25 (UTC)

I’m very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.

Edited 2013-08-29 01:27 (UTC)

sleep ate chocolate pudding again :c

I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt.

Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of this weekend am I forgetting?

I'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. Promise.

Edited 2013-08-29 01:48 (UTC)

Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...

just walked into a party and someone yelled "dibs"

It was less of a bar and more of a basement that some odd birds sold booze in.

Let's avoid doing business with them again; they're trying too hard to make bathtub gin sound like the ale of gods.

Edited 2013-08-29 02:02 (UTC)

There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.

So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?